D’Qwell Jackson Released and That Makes Me Sad

Today, the longest-tenured member of the team, D’Qwell Jackson, was released by the Cleveland Browns. And it made me very sad.

Why? Well, besides the obvious fact that D’Qwell was a fiery team leader, he was a no-frills, go-to-work and get-it-done guy. The kind of player that every Browns fan can respect.

D’Qwell, eight-year veteran and the Browns second-round pick in 2006 out of Maryland will be missed.

We hope your life is D’Lightful as you begin a new chapter in your life. You D’Fied the odds by surviving how many coaches, and D’Fined what it means to be a Browns D’Fensive back, even after several D’Bilitating injuries. You D’Voted your time to our city and its people, and that helped D’Fine the classy person you are. As you D’Part, we all wish you well, because you D’Serve it.

Good luck friend


What?!? I Was Almost Traded to the Browns? F———–!


I was almost traded to the Browns? F———!

Even after the Cleveland Browns’ “Great Coaching Search for a Proven Winner of 2014″ ended, and we thought we could go back to our everyday lives, THIS happens.

Pro Football Talk reported Friday that the Browns were close to a trade that would have brought 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland. And then the 49ers said, “Huh? What? Nahhhh. That’s not true!” And then the Browns hinted that it might have been true. And then Jim Harbaugh says, “Hmmm. That’s news to me.” (paraphrasing here, of course).

Seriously? Will this coaching search ever end? Will it ever go away? Can we just get on with the season now?

I sure hope so, because you know what? The coach isn’t the most important piece of the football puzzle here – the players are.

So please, Football Gods, can we all just move on now and get on with the season?

What next? Rumors that Otto Graham’s DNA is being inserted into stem cells, in hopes of cloning the best NFL QB ever?

Wait, on second thought… Let’s hope this one is true!

It’s Combine Time!! Woo Hoo!

It is something that football fans and farmers have in common: They are both happy when the combine starts!

Get it? Of course you do, because you’re a football fan (or got here through an errant Google search on the word “combine.”) If you did, here is a picture of a combine. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

We Bleed Brown and Orange Banner CombineAnyway, I know the Combine might interfere with Winter Olympics coverage of hockey, curling and bobsled, but it is a sign that spring, and more importantly, The Draft, are right around the corner.

The NFL Combine begins Wednesday, February 20th as invited players start arriving in Indianapolis. On-field workouts begin Saturday.

Being a serious football fan, I have watched the Combine coverage on TV, and I gotta tell you, it is about as interesting as watching paint dry. But if you really want to watch, NFL Network will televise the on-field Combine workouts starting Saturday. Live coverage will start each day at 9am.

Saturday features placekickers, special teams, offensive linemen, tight ends; Sunday is quarterbacks, wide receivers, running backs; Monday is defensive linemen and linebackers; and Tuesday features defensive backs.

Get ready for mock draft boards to get shaken up after “this player’s stock is dropping” and “that player’s ceiling is enormous” stories start to work their way into the news. In the big scheme of things, the Combine is a big ol’ yawn to fans and doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that the people who will be drafting players learn more about those players, watch their dog and pony show, and get to know them as people – not just statistics.

Do you know this guy?

We Bleed Brown and Orange Banner Brady

Tom Brady had one of the worst Combine performances EVER. What does it mean? Absolutely nothin’ (say it again)!

By way of comparison:

Tom Brady’s Combine 40-yard dash time: 5:28. Akili Smith’s: 4:66.

Tom Brady’s Vertical: 24.5″ Akili Smith’s: 34″.

Tom Brady’s broad jump: 8’03”. Akili Smith’s: 9’06”.

You tell me who had a better career. But would the Combine numbers have predicted that?

Smith also had better numbers than Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers. Big deal. Combine numbers are just that – numbers.  Combine success doesn’t always equal NFL success.

Akili Smith, anyone?

Brandon Weeden Wants Out Of Cleveland. That Makes it Unanimous.

We Bleed Brown and Orange Weeden3Wow. Really?

I mean, really?

Is this just a case of “I’m breaking up with you before you can break up with me?”

Don’t get me wrong, I understand how any Browns player might want out, given the haze of absurdity that is swirling around the team the past few days, but Brandon, really? I find it hard to believe that anyone would actually trade for you, considering your 0 – 5 record last year on a team that sent 5 players to the Pro Bowl.

Regardless of what regime is running the team, it was a foregone conclusion that you were not going to be part of it next season.

During your short stint here, you were certainly entertaining (usually not in a good way), and you had the physical skills, but it’s time for a bit of advice: It is important to know what you are, and what you are not.

If you need help figuring out what you are not, ask anyone wearing brown and orange. They’ll be happy to help.

I Blog Because I Want to Care…

Les Miserables – The Story of Browns’ fans

“There was a time when I was proud, to be a fan of the Browns from Cleveland.

There was time when I cheered loud, hope was high and life was so grand.

There was a time…then it all went wrong.”

Remember how exciting it used to be being a Browns’ fan? We’d talk about last week’s game and couldn’t wait for Sunday to cheer on our team. We’d read every article, talk to all our friends about the upcoming game all week, and actually expect them to make the playoffs every year. It brought us closer to our family, to our coworkers, and made us proud of our city.

That time seems so long ago. They have been so bad for so long now, that I barely care. I mean, I still want them to do well, I still go to every game, I still think that some year, they’ll put it all together…or do I. With every losing season, with every new coach, with every new front office…with every new owner, I’m losing my fanhood. The best I can muster now is apathy.

This is why this blog is so important to me. I’m hoping it gives me a reason to care. A reason to pay attention. A reason to hope for the future.

I promise that most of my posts will have much more humor in them. Because all we can do is laugh, right? Haslam’s press conference today was one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen in a long time. When will the media accept their responsibility for the Cleveland Browns dysfunction? Everyone now reports directly to Haslam…can one run an NFL team from prison?

Well, that’s it. My first blog. Keep checking back to read more or just check back because you want to care.

“Do you hear the Browns’ fans sing? Singing the song of angry men.

It is the music of a fan base who will not be let down again!”

It’s a Brownie, not an Elf!

The Cleveland Browns Announce the Departure of Joe Banner and Michael Lombardi, as Told in Seinfeld Catch-Phrases

We Bleed Brown and Orange Banner LombardiCleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam announced today that CEO Joe Banner will step down in the next two months and GM Michael Lombardi would be leaving the team.

Get out!

Assistant GM Ray Farmer was promoted and will take over football operations and lead the Browns during free agency and the draft.

Not there’s anything wrong with that…

Haslam said “The purpose of these moves is to unify our team with one, unequivocal goal: Provide our fans with the winning organization they have long deserved.”

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

Let’s recap the timeline. Haslam buys team. Hires Joe Banner. Fires Pat Shurmer and Tom Heckert. Hires Rob Chudzinski. Hires Michael Lombardi. Fires Rob Chudzinski. Hires Mike Pettine. Fires Joe Banner and Michael Lombardi. Hires Ray Farmer.

Remember, he bought the team in August 2012. That is only 18 months of team ownership. 18 months!!

This guy is a bad breaker-upper!

About Joe Banner, Haslam said, “We appreciate Joe’s contributions to the Cleveland Browns, especially in helping us as new owners. We thank him for his work and dedication. We wish him and his family the best.”

That’s a shame.

“It is bittersweet leaving the Browns organization,” Banner said. “I am proud of the talented individuals we brought in to help lead this team and feel that the Cleveland Browns are in good hands moving forward.”

I’m speechless. I have no speech.

“We’re also grateful for Mike Lombardi’s efforts and commitment since rejoining our organization,”

Hi, my name is Mike, I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.

“We’re going to go to work, and we’re fully committed to make this organization a winner,” Haslam said.

Yada yada yada…

With all of this drama done, and Haslam saying he doesn’t think any more major changes will happen, Browns fans everywhere only have this to say:

Serenity now! Serenity now!

Wait! One more. We’ll leave you with this one: Today, the Browns fired two boobs.

They’re real, and they’re spectacular!

All right, that’s it for me. You’ve been great. Good night everybody!

If The Browns Logo Was a Star Wars Character

OK, how funny is it that after posting “If The Browns Logo Was a Hipster,” and “If The Browns Logo Was Corporate,” that we now post “If The Browns Logo Was a Star Wars Character.”

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for your Raxus Prime Jawas!!

Browns Helmet As Star Wars CharacterDesigner John Raya created some really cool designs, like the Mos Eisley Troopers (Colts), Mygeeto Siths (Baltimore) and Hoth Tauntauns (Broncos).

I like the Jawas. Plain orange. Mysterious. Cool.

I was worried that the Browns would end up being those annoying teddy bearlike hunter-gatherers that inhabit the forest moon of Endor, the hated Ewoks.

Kansas City got saddled with that one!